Blue Giant
Today is April 10th, about 3am at the time of writing this. I have two exams in 5 days and I just finished a movie called Blue Giant and thought it'd be a nice time to write down some of thoughts that have been on my head the past few days.
The movie is about Dai Miyamoto, an young aspiring saxophonist who puts his soul into jazz. It's essentially a movie where he's fallen in love to the beauty of the craft and pursues his dream. The visualization of his obsession was depicted so strongly throughout the movie it left quite the impression.
After watching the movie, I couldn't help but ask myself when the last time I was truly obsessed and passionate about something. I don't remember. Why is this the case? Maybe its the environment, maybe my habits. Maybe I've become disinterested in life. Maybe the phone sucked the soul and attention out of my life. I do school and perform decently, I play sports at a decent level, I live life at a decent pace, but my passion for them is quite non-existent and I don't feel that burning sensation of obsession anymore. I've leveled myself to be moderate over the years. I thought that this was the right approach, but I've recently come to the realization that it honestly feels like shit and it is not the way I would like to live at this point in time. Meddling away in mediocracy without much passion does not feel that great. But then my habits have molded around it, so it'll be quite the pain to change it up and live with my foot on the gas pedal.
I keep coming back to the question, do I want a slow or fast paced life? I'm not entirely sure.